Put on your new nature, created to be like God, truly righteous and holy.
- Ephesians 4:24 -
Sexual purity is a principle that has been lost in modern times.
But it is important because sex involves far more than just physical contact. A much deeper, emotional bonding takes place when two come together.
Your date might become a close friend, but if you throw sexuality into a relationship too quickly, it distorts your ability to evaluate whether or not this person is a good friend. It makes you stay longer in relationships you shouldn’t be in, and it makes the breakups much more painful.
This leads to the next principle: treat the person you are dating as a child of God. Who you are should determine what you do. So, when you are on a date, you need to see the person across from you—and he or she needs to see you—as an adopted child of God. How do you treat a child of the King of Heaven? With courtesy, respect, and kindness. You want the net effect of your presence in any relationship to encourage the person to trust and love God more as a result of your presence in their life.
Your aim should be to bless, not merely to impress. So go to dinner, get to know the person, do things you like doing. You are not trying to win him or her over, but simply evaluating if the two of you are a fit. Listen intently, ask good questions, and share your thoughts honestly. Compliment. Encourage. And speak your mind with sincerity and kindness. Don’t stress too much about trying to impress. Dating is for evaluating and blessing. That’s it.
This brings us to the next principle: allow people you trust into your dating conversation. Romantic feelings are intoxicating and distorting, so getting the right voices speaking into the process can keep you from spending too much time with the wrong person. Select friends who love God, love you, and who are not afraid to tell you exactly what they think. Ask them to speak into the process early and often. Surround yourself with Godly counsel.
The final principle of dating is to be patient. Let the relationship grow at its own pace. Do not rush to put on a ring, but wait and watch the other person’s character. Some people will be obviously unsuitable for dating at the outset. Others may seem nice at first, but over time you will begin to question parts of their character. Watch long enough to see how they react when things don’t go their way. Give yourself the space to see them in every season.
Will you find a person who is a great fit? I don't know. But I do know that God has given you wisdom and Himself to lean on as you journey through life. I pray your hopes in this season of dating will be fixed on the King, not a prince or princess. I pray you will walk in Him, believing He will care for your needs, and if it be His will, lead you to the right person in His perfect timing.