And you are complete in him, who is the head of all principality and power.
- Colossians 2:10 -
Finding someone to date is easy.
But finding the right someone the right way is not. So, how can you date in a way that will maximize the good aspects of meeting people while minimizing the pain of shipwrecked relationships? To answer that question, you need to back up and ask something even more fundamental:
What is the purpose of dating?
The Bible doesn’t say anything about dating, but it has much to say about evaluating people. Dating is our modern day process of evaluation. It’s discerning whether you want to spend your life with a particular person. The first critical question this evaluation leads to is what qualities you should look for in another person.
The Bible describes life like a race (Hebrews 12:1). As a single person, you want to be racing toward the Lord. Devoted to Him. Using your gifts, abilities, time, and influence. As you are racing after Jesus, there will be all kinds of people running as well, but in all kinds of directions. Eventually, you will look up and see people racing toward Jesus along with you. As you are running, you’re going to start talking to a few of them. You’re going to check them out :)
And when it comes to dating, what you are looking for is character and chemistry. You want someone with character who passionately pursues God and the things of God. You also want to look for someone with whom you have chemistry. You want someone you enjoy hanging out with, talking to, laughing with and with whom you click. You want solid, Godly character and fun, natural chemistry.
Dating is not about chasing another person so you can find your meaning and fulfillment. That is far too much pressure to put on another person. And that is not how you were built. You are not half of a person waiting for another half of a person to “complete” you. You are already whole and loved by God as a single person (Colossians 2:10).
When you date another person, the goal is to grow together so you can encourage, challenge, and shape each other. In the process, you will have to adapt, change and sacrifice. It won't always be easy but you can be assured the journey will be worth it.